The least Vegan thing… ever.


The Least Vegan Thing Ever

I will take a brief break from the world of burritos to discuss the latest heart stopping, artery clogging, blood pressure spiking food product that is available to the average consumer: KFC’s new Double Down. In a time when we export little more than our consumerism, it’s nice to see that America is still a land of ingenuity.

Have you ever been eating something and thought, “Man, this bread, lettuce, and condiments are really slowing down my meat consumption”? Or “Ugh! I’m so busy! How am I possibly going to find the time to consume my daily dose of sodium over the next four days?” Well, the Double Down is the answer.

2 pieces of fried chicken? Check.
2 slices of processed cheese? Check.
2 slices of heavily processed bacon? Check.
1400 mg of sodium? Check.
Mystery sauce? (there’s always a sauce) Check.

It was greasy, soft, and cumbersome to eat. It tasted exactly as you would expect: awesome and gross at the exact same time. I have been sweating out the salt and grease for 2 days since I ate it. Would I eat it again? Only if I was told I came down with a terminal disease.

mr stone and I engaged in this pinnacle of Americanism for dinner. Halfway through mr exclaimed, “There’s bacon in this too?!” Of course there is… This is America, where all your dreams come true. Just watch out for those chest pains afterwards, or what those in the DD community call “The Jabbies.”


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