Just Your Average BUrritoria (Boca Grande)


(In celebration of the New England Patriots successfully defending their home turf against the lowly New York Jets, Pino de Gallo’s man in Boston shares with us a review right outside of Fenway Park. Let’s welcome back Little Peen!)

Boca Grande. Spanish for “Safety School”  …no? Oh, its “Large Mouth”? Okay. Large Mouth: located at the famous Kenmore Square near Fenway Pahk where the Red Sox hit the ball wicked fahh. But unfortunately, this means it’s also located next to one of the (multiple) second tier private universities in the area….Boston University. I was accompanied by a friend of both Mase and mine, Boob Face Esq. (BFE), who was visiting from his fancy pants Law School.

Future Judge Boobface presiding over this burrito

“The BU Strip” (aka BU’s “campus”) should never be confused with any other sort of “Strip” anything. For example, Vegas Strip: no open container laws, gambling, (mostly) attractive women, etc; Strip Poker: boobs, gambling, (hopefully) attractive women; BU Strip: open container laws, no gambling, J.A.Ps as far as the eye can see, (rarely) attractive women. You see what I mean?

Anyway, Boca Grande is located at the beginning of The BU Strip, and is actually a pretty good metaphor for BU as a whole. Just replace “Burrito” with “school,” “Boca Grande” with “BU,” and the contents of the burrito with offerings at BU throughout the review, and you basically have a description of the BU education/experience.

Boca Grande’s location is extremely beneficial to its business, as Kenmore Square is a highly trafficked area of Boston, especially during baseball season. However, as a whole, it’s pretty average. It has a lot of offerings, but doesn’t seem to do one thing particularly well, or have any kind of specialty.

A man held back by his BU education. Imagine what he could have accomplished...

I ordered the Chicken Ranchero Grande Burrito, and BFE got the Colorado Chicken Burrito which was described as “a little spicy” by the tiny Mexican cashier. Each came with the typical amenities, rice, beans (we both got black), lettuce, sour cream and guacamole (.80 extra for both).

Nothing about this burrito was more than middle of the road. The chicken was bland, the rice was plain, the lettuce was not fresh, and the guac wasn’t anything special, and BFE thought the tomatoes were overpowering in his.

Boca Grande itself is pretty nice, though. Seems to be recently renovated, and (as stated) is in a great location. The presentation of our food was also a plus. The burrito held together well, and was wrapped in a fine steamed tortilla. It was also of pretty decent size, and filled us up sufficiently.

So when it comes down to it, this burrito isn’t something you’d hang your hat on, but you could certainly do better, probably for a bit cheaper (burrito was about $7.25), and with a better mascot than a fucking Boston Terrier…oh sorry, this is about burritos not schools. But anyway, if you are looking for a solid educa….sorry, burrito, that isn’t really anything special, but will suffice for the time being, Boca Grande certainly isn’t your worst option. And who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about the tides from some BU grad while you’re there? (Editor’s note: Tides go in… tides go out…)

I give Boca Grande a Second Tier, marginally overpriced, 2.5 out of 5 sombreros.

648 Beacon Street
Boston, MA 02215
(617) 437-9700

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