Welcome to Cinco de Mayo with Pino de Gallo! Now, contrary to popular belief, Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican independence day. (You can’t be independent when you’re still sucking on America’s teet) Cinco de Mayo is the day in Mexican folklore when the Great Burrito in the sky rolled us, folded us, crafted us in his image and put us down on the Earth in the place where all civilization originated: Mexico. (I think somewhere in Guadalajara) While the evil Chupacabra is constantly trying to corrupt us and get to our juicy, meaty innards, on Cinco de Mayo, Quetzalcoatl protects us and we celebrate in the warmth of the Great Burrito. True Story.
But, I must apologize for my extended absence. “Real” life got in the way (which is my way of saying I’ve been too morbidly obese to type. The last three posts I’ve drafted have looked like something Hellen Keller would type because my fat fingers just mashed all the keys). So I figured Cinco de Mayo would be a perfect time to toss up another post. Here goes:
Busy day at work, but like the junkie that I am, I realize a quick fix would calm my rattled nerves. Thanks to the wonders of smartphone internet technology, I used the Yelp app to find burritos in the area. What came up? Well, Delisias Carry Out! Just a 10 minute walk north of the Bethesda Metro stop, it seemed it would be an easy place to hit up on the quick.
The name says “carry out” and that’s not a suggestion or an option, it’s a requirement. A tiny shack off the main Wisconsin drag, there are a few benches out front, and little else. Inside, there is about 4 feet between the door and the counter, and only enough room for 3-4 people to stand comfortably. Thankfully, when Ry-guy and I entered, there was a large, portly man with the crazy eyes who was breathing heavily taking up most of the room. He kept asking for additional sides of this and jars of that, and had extra salsa made for him on the spot. It didn’t seem like he was buying for an office (or that he had a job), but he must have spent over $15 on various Latin cuisine. The poor Salvadorian women were probably just terrified and were willing to give him whatever he wanted.
In the small queuing area, you can see directly into the kitchen. The large fridge is to your right, and the pots and pans are just farther back. The two short and chubby women combined with the several Salvadorian flags, specials written on the back of styrofoam plates, and a small TV playing telenovelas on Telemundo screamed authenticity. There is no Gringo of Oz behind a curtain secretly pulling all the strings (or stuffing the burritos in this case).
Being the manly man that I am, I of course ordered the Super Macho Burrito ($7.00) – “Filled beef, chicken, rice, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and hot sauce.” Although Egon said to never cross the streams, I thought it would be a bold and different choice to grab the old double meat (I know a few
sluts girls in Boston who are salivating at that phrase right now). Due to the cramped cozy layout of the burritoria, I had the joy of watching my little Salvadorean burrista assemble my meal. It’s always a delight to see them at their craft. It’s like watching a surgeon work, but instead of taking out a tumor, the doctor is putting in deliciousness.
The resulting burrito (and the seventy five cents they gave me in nickels for change) was hearty and heavy. It had a nice girth to it that I think I could probably have used to fend off a mugger. Thankfuly I had Ry-Guy at my side, so I wasn’t worried (it was also 1 pm in Bethesda, so not really a dangerous time or place).
The tortilla had a great texture and was impressed with its quality. One of the best I’ve tasted in the Metro DC area to date. As I worked my way through the burrito, the tomatoes (which I saw the burrista freshly cut) added nice moisture and the lettuce provided a solid crunch and texture. The rice was hearty, but not particularly flavorful. The mix of beef and chicken I found to be really complimentary relationship. I found the chicken much drier that I would have liked, despite the fact that it was marinating in some sort of
grease sauce. I had heard reports of the beef being exceptionally greasy, but I only had minimal drippage, which I attribute to the balance between the beef and chicken. I could see getting only beef being too greasy, and getting only chicken being very dry. The hot sauce, which was never visibly noticeable, was nonetheless felt throughout the burrito. It added a very distinct and significant kick to the burrito. Ry-Guy got the Super Vegetarian, which he enjoyed but said it seemed to be missing something. We concluded that both burritos would have been much better if there was another flavorful salsa added like a guacamole (which didn’t seem to be an option, even for extra) or a pico de gallo.
I loved the authenticity and the homey nature of the little burrito shack. While just a few blocks from my place of business, I don’t see myself frequenting there. I will definitely go back and try more (their menu was fairly extensive and certainly reasonably priced), but probably will only make it once in a while. A hearty filling meal for a decent price that doesn’t knock your socks off. Perfect for those times when you’re too lazy to put your socks back on after a meal. A deceptively respectable 2.5/5 Sombreros.